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The best resume in human history

Highly Honored Signor,
having seen enough of the creations of the hands of those unbearable upstarts who imagine themselves to be true masters and inventors of weapons of war, and finally making sure that the device and use of these tools are in no way
does not differ from those that are widely used on the battlefield, I took the liberty to offer your Highness, without the slightest harm to third parties, in order to acquaint you with my secrets; after which I could, at any time convenient for you, completely leave myself at your mercy and demonstrate to you all the devices that I briefly list here.

1. I have ready-made blueprints for bridges, very light and durable - moreover,
that their construction will not require special efforts.

2. In case of a siege of any town, I know exactly how to pump
water from the castle ditches and how to build countless assault
stairs and other useful tools.

3. If, however, due to the height of the ramparts and the fortification of the city or
due to its particularly advantageous location, it turned out to be impossible
crush it by throwing cores, I know the right ways to destroy
any citadel or fortress, even if it stands on a rock.

4. I have drawings for making an artillery gun, very
convenient and easy to transport, with the help of it you can throw
enemy hail of small stones.

5. In the event of a naval battle, I have blueprints for building
all sorts of ingenious devices that are best suited
both for attack and defense, as well as ships that are able to withstand the fire of powerful guns, because they are not afraid of gunpowder or smoke.

6. In addition, I know how to get with the army to any place where your
It will be pleasing to the Highness to make his way through the caves and cunningly
winding underground passages that rummage in this way
that no one will hear the slightest noise - even if you had to
to make a dig under the river.

7. In addition, I can craft safe, iron-covered wagons
reliable and impregnable; equipped with guns, they crash into a whirlwind
into the closed ranks of the enemy, and no army, how good it would be
nor was armed, could not resist them. And going behind
their infantry will be able to move forward without the slightest damage to themselves,
not encountering any resistance in its path.

8. And also, if there is a need, I can make guns,
mortars and light artillery pieces, a form of a very neat and sophisticated,
and besides - very easy to use and completely different
from those that are used everywhere.

9. Where it is impossible to use artillery, I can supply troops
ballistas, catapults, stepladders and other wonderful
effective devices that none of our enemies have.
In short, no matter the circumstances, I can put at your disposal any number of various offensive
and defensive weapons.

10. In peacetime, I, it seems to me, no worse than any other capable
fully satisfy any of your inquiries regarding
architecture and building construction - both for public and for
private needs, and the installation of water pipes from one place to another.

11. In addition, I can sculpt sculptures of marble, bronze and clay;
I am also subject to painting, in which my works are able to withstand
comparison with the creations of any other master, whoever he is.

12. Moreover, I am ready to take up the job of casting a bronze horse,
which should perpetuate the blessed memory of your august
priest and sing in the offspring the imperishable glory of the great family of Sforza.

And if any of the above things seems impossible to anyone
or impossible, I suggest you test me in your
hunting grounds or in any other place where your pleasure
To the Highness, to whom from now on I offer with all possible humility
their modest services.

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